Barolo and shedding

It is an odd feeling when you realize the hair on your sweater doesn’t belong to one of the cats. It has started. My hair is falling out. I knew it was inevitable and ultimately I will be okay with it. But it makes me feel vulnerable. And identifiable. There goes the chemo patient. My next step is to make an appointment with my hair stylist and have her shave it off. Get it over with. And start a new phase. I am one-sixth of the way through my treatment. I have a long way to go, and I hate it. It is ironic that I have to do something that makes me so sick to get better. But today, aside from my hair falling out, has been a good day. I spent most of the night awake from the steroids that are part of my treatment, but it was not an anxiety-filled wakefulness. I have good thoughts on these nights. My mind is racing, but I’m happy. And I know once I crash I can nap. So it’s all good. This morning I met my friend Sarah at a coffee place down the street—Order and Chaos. We had good cappuccinos and I ate a ridiculously huge cinnamon roll. I am mostly eating healthy, but every now and then something indulgent calls my name and I figure, why not! I’ve got enough shit going on I can have a treat. And we had a great visit, though I know I was talking a mile a minute. I did crash later in the afternoon and napped with time to spare before Jerry and I had dinner at a neighborhood restaurant, Rachel. We really like that place, and the owner treats us like friends. We had a Barolo with dinner. Italian wines cry out for food, and this one tasted so good with my polenta dish. We took our time, enjoyed our food, and enjoyed each other. Jerry had gotten the mail and a package I had been waiting for arrived. Dr. Amourula Cabernetska, a South African penguin from the World Wildlife Fund had been sent by a group of very caring friends. She is part of a collection of penguins that various friends have received when they are going through medical issues. I cherish her, and my friends. She will accompany me to transfusion sessions and I will think of that group of people who are in my corner.