Reality Check

Thank goodness for Facebook groups and emails from friends. For the last several months I have been having powerful chemicals pumped into my body on a weekly basis. It’s killing those bad cancer cells, but it is doing a number on the healthy cells as well. And it is taking a toll. How could it not be? I am doing everything in my power to counteract the negative effects, but let’s face it. There is only so much I can do. The women in my FB ovarian cancer group woke me up. And brought me back to earth. This isn’t a cold or even the flu. This is some serious shit. And in reality, I am doing really really well. I have to stop comparing my current self to the self before all this started. In truth I may never be quite the same, and that’s okay, as long as I am enjoying life and all it has to offer. Yeah, so maybe it’s the steroids from this morning’s chemo talking, but I feel good, and I’m moving forward. I did scare the shit out of a group of nurses this morning. I was dragging me and my iv pole to the bathroom when, as usual, I got very lightheaded and had to grab the wall. I have never been surrounded so quickly in my life! A chair appeared. Arms and shoulders appeared. I had to stop them from getting a wheelchair. I explained to them that this happens to me all the time. I explained my Vertigo and low blood pressure. They accepted my explanation though it didn’t stop two of them from waiting outside the bathroom until I was done. Yeah, from my husband to my friends to the people in my FB group I’ve never met, I have got one hell of a support system. I can do this.