Fuzzy hair and Physical Therapy

The hair continues to grow. It is at a fuzzy stage and I have decided hats be damned! It’s summer and too hot to wear a hat, so I have been going out with my baby chick hairdo and feel fine about it. Still waiting for eyelashes. Had my second maintenance infusion yesterday and it went fine. The Benadryl did hit me pretty hard so took a two hour nap im the afternoon. I saw my oncologist before the treatment and he reminded me that it will take a while— up to a year— before I feel normal. I asked him about physical therapy and he thought that would be a good idea. So now I have my first appointment in around four weeks with a physical therapist who specializes in cancer patients. My hope is she can help me get my strength and balance back. Having finished treatment but not really being “myself” makes me feel as if I am living in a kind of no-man’s land. I am in remission, but I am not”better.” Though I can feel myself getting stronger, there are so many things I’m just not ready to do. Jerry and I are looking to go away for a couple of days and I think I frustrated him by vetoing several of his suggestions. I am not ready to go hiking in the wilds of Wisconsin. Uneven ground is still scary, and climbing wipes me out. We finally settled on a couple of days in Pittsburgh. It might sound crazy, but there are some interesting museums and good restaurants. And it seems to be mostly flat. I can do that. I know I am fortunate that Jerry realizes it will take time for me to get back to myself. He was with me when my doctor reminded both of us that the neuropathy in my feet isn’t going to go away overnight, and I will still tire fairly easily. And I do continue looking over my shoulder to see if the cancer is going to sneak its way back in. The fear has lessened, but it is still there. But the realist in me knows I can’t do anything about it except to live my life to the fullest and enjoy it as much as I can. And that’s the plan.

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