Life, Death, and Etiquette

A friend's mom, who started treatment for ovarian cancer about the same time as I did is in the ICU and will likely not make it to see tomorrow. Another friend has a nephew who was just diagnosed with cancer and she just doesn't know what to say.
The short answer is the same for both: I'm sorry. It sucks. My friend whose mom is about to die is on the other side of the country. If I were closer I wouldn't ask what she needed. I would take her something. Or change her sheets. Or take her dog to Starbucks for a puppucino.
I did give my other friend some advice. I told her not to say everything will be okay, because really, who knows. I told her not to offer alternative treatment advice unless asked. I also said to stay in touch. If he is napping he will tell you to call back, and he will likely be napping a lot. Send cards. Write emails. They are not close enough for her to visit but writing, calling, really helps.
This is stuff I wish I knew before I got sick. I was not always the best friend. Experience has taught me and I know better now. I can't go back but as I move forward I now know what to do.
Jerry and I are starting to talk about travel plans. Maybe someplace in October, because I want to go sooner than later, not knowing what the future brings. But we will wait until after the results of my next scan, which is in two weeks. I am, of course, hoping for good news, but I just don't know. If all is clear I still like to hear from people. Yay! So glad! but if it isn't I don't need much. I'm sorry. It sucks. And maybe a pie.

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