My Happy Place

I have been steadily getting donations for Barcstoberfest, Barcs' biggest fundraiser of the year. Rather than donate on line, a friend mailed me a check accompanied by a lovely animal-themed card.

I could have mailed the check to Barcs, but instead I decided I would hand deliver it. This is a bigger deal than it sounds. Before my accident, I spent several days a week at Barcs, walking dogs and socializing cats. I wasn't sure how I would handle being there. Would it make me depressed? Would it remind me of everything I had lost?

But I decided I needed to go to the place that I have spent so many hours. So Jerry and I got in the car and drove to Barcs.

Jerry wheeled me down the path to the area behind the building where there are play yards for the dogs. in the first yard there were several volunteers with dogs. The next yard was the yard that staff holds play group. Play group is an important tool to socialize and evaluate dogs. So much can be learned about dogs by watching them play with other dogs.

While the bottom of this yard is blocked so I couldn't see dogs, what I could see were two of my favorite Barcs staff-- Kerry and Hannah. It is hard to describe how happy I felt seeing their smiles. Also Jessica, another volunteer stopped by and gave me a warm greeting. She let us into Doggie Den where I got to greet lots of dogs in their kennels.

It was then time to go back to the offices to drop off the check. Once again, the greetings I got from staff filled my eyes with tears.

But then I went back to the cat rooms. It was like coming home. I petted cats, spoke baby talk to cats, gave slow blinks. I propelled myself with my left leg around the cat rooms. I thought my heart would burst. Some of those cats had had only one visit that day so far, and it felt so good to give them some love.

Jerry already does so much for me, but it was he who suggested that maybe he could drive me over occasionally and I could spend an hour volunteering with the cats. I have to think about that. I am doing so well but I have to think seriously whether that would really work. Before London, I was a Level 3 cat socializer, meaning I worked with the more difficult cats. That would not be possible now. But maybe, just maybe, I can figure out a way to come in and at least play with the "easier" cats.

While seeing staff, volunteers and the animals was wonderful, the effect the visit had on me was much bigger.

This visit reminds me to concentrate more on what I can do, and what I will eventually be able to do. There are things that just aren't going to happen any more, and at low points those things can take over my thinking. But then I go to the shelter and I am reminded that some of the most important things in my life I WILL do again. Maybe even sooner than I thought possible.

On bad days I need to reread this to remind myself that I have so muchto look forward to. As long as I make it happen.

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