No Day but Today

I just finished a zoom call. It was a shiva, perhaps a wake, honoring someone I have known since my days in Missoula. More than 100 people attended. Stories were told, songs were sung. Lots of laughter and tears.

It was incredible, made even more so because the person we were honoring is still with us. Ken recently received terrible news. He has Stage 4 cancer and has only a short time left to live. Maybe weeks, a month. So he and his family decided to organize this event.

Funerals, shivas and wakes are really for the living. We tell stories. We remember the loved one we lost. So today was incredibly special because Ken got to hear these stories and feel so much love.

I wrote in the zoom chat that my face hurt from smiling so much. I learned so much about Ken, listening to relatives, former coworkers and friends. He did, indeed, live a righteous life, and it made me so happy that he was witness to this outpouring.

I also got to see his wife Fran, whom I have not seen in years, as well as his children, who are now adults. People can make fun of Facebook all they want, but it was how I reconnected with Ken.

When I had my pulmonary embolism, Jerry said he had watched me die three times. The first was when I got very sick during my cancer treatment, the second in London when things were so uncertain, and then the PE.

But I am still here. I am really not sure why. But I know I am damn lucky.

While Ken is not likely to pull a rabbit out of hat, today, I hope, was a remarkable blessing for him. While knowing he does not he much time left is devastating, I hope he received joy from knowing how significant his time on earth was to so many.

While the call has left me sad for Ken and those closest to him, it also a reminder that the greatest mitzvah of all is leading a life that makes those who know you proud. Ken has that and more.

We should all be so lucky.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Can’t Catch a Break

except for the one in my femur. After I fell a couple weeks ago I got in touch with my primary care physician's office and went in for x-rays. Nothing terrible showed up so we prepared to go to Tbilisi with my wheelchair, figuring after a couple of days I wouldn't need it. Fortunately our Tbilisi apartment had a lift and doorways wide enough for my wheelchair, so I knew I would be okay until I could use my prosthesis again. But as each day went by my leg got no better, so we made the tough decision to go home early, leaving the same day as our traveling companions. Traveling on a commercial flight using a wheelchair was a nightmare, but that's a story for another time. The day after we got back I saw my rehab doctor, Dr. Gonzalez, and she ordered another set of x-rays, and this time the news was not so good. The images showed a non-displaced hairline fracture at the top of my femur. When I spoke to Dr. Gonzalez, she told me she had spoken to one of the orthopedic sur...
Read more

All Fall Down. Again

My physical therapist warned me: the more I walk the more I'm going to fall so I'd better get used to it. But this last one was a doozy. We had come home from a lovely Rosh Hashanah dinner at my cousins' and went upstairs. I remembered I had left my phone downstairs and wanted to see my daily step count, so I headed back down to get it. I sat down on the couch to look at it, got up, and after perhaps one step my prosthetic foot decided not to move, and down I went. It was a similar fall to the one I took in Mexico City, only more so. The pain and anguish had me howling. Since I still had my phone I called Jerry to help me up. Only I couldn't get up. Just like in Mexico City. Jerry went to the garage and once again, got my wheelchair. He removed my prosthesis and helped me into the chair. He got me upstairs and helped me undress and get into bed. I downed a megadose of Ibuprofen and attempted to get comfortable. Ha! I suppose comfort is relative. I did get som...
Read more

Cha Cha Cha

This week, six years ago, I had my last chemo. It seems like a lifetime ago. My check-ups have gone from every month, to every three months, and now to every six months. A big Woo Hoo. Also, just about this week two years ago was when I got hit by a bus in London. I went from not being able to walk or use my arms to where I am now-- walking with a cane and even driving a car. I'm back volunteering at the shelter and taking Pilates. A couple of weeks ago I starting getting pretty bad heartburn, which I had six years ago. It led me to a gastroenterologist who ultimately diagnosed my ovarian cancer. So when it returned, I made an appointment with a gynecological oncologist who scheduled a CT scan. The good news was there was no ovarian cancer recurrence. The not so good news, or should I say the up in the air news, was that the CT scan showed a mass in my bladder. A small mass-- only about a half inch-- but a mass nonetheless. Today I saw a urologicsl oncologist. I was hoping he ...
Read more