What Have You Done Today to Make You Feel Proud?

Many years ago in faraway land (northern California) I had my left knee replaced. I knew I needed to get my quads strong to make it work well and to put off having the other replaced, at least for a while. Jerry and I had a tandem that I had never been on, but I came up with this bright idea: Let's do the Aids Ride on the tandem. Jerry thought, yeah, right. But he underestimated my commitment.

The ride, offically known as Aids Lifecycle, starts in San Francisco and ends in Los Angeles. While it is a supported ride-- meals, rest stops, sag wagons-- it is by no means easy. The hills are killer. Headwinds, 60-110 mile long days, sleeping in tents.

But Jerry and I trained hard. In reality riding a tandem is harder than riding a single bike. But if we rode solo Jerry would be out front with the big boys and I really needed him with me if I was going to do it.

And on our first ALC, and on subsequent rides (we did seven) we rode EFI- every fucking inch.

At the end of the ride in LA there is a celebration, and videos put together during the ride by a professional AV team are shown. One that has always stuck with me is "Proud." you can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDP320Y83d4

I have never been prouder of myself riding ALC and raising a shitload of money for the San Francisco Aids Foundation.

Until yesterday.

Since I got my prosthesis I have been wearing it for about an hour a day. I have been standing unaided, shifting my weight between my left leg and my prosthesis. I felt pretty good about that, figuring I would need to wait until I could use my right arm to do much more.

Yesterday was OT/PT day. I had OT first, and my therapist gave me some new exercises and moved my arm around. Slow, but definitive progress.

Later in the day came PT. I figured it would be more standing unaided, and that was how it started.

But then my therapist got a look on his face that led me to believe that for once, he was thinking outside the box.

He had my get in my wheelchair, and he put it at the end of the set of parallel bars. He had me stand up, and with my left hand on the bar and him in front of me, he had me take steps. And at the end he had me turn around and walk back. And we did this again and again. He had me walk backwards, he had me put weight on one leg and the the other. He had me walk while barely holding onto the bar.

I have never been so nervous. Or exhilerated. I did something that I thought was at least a month away.

This morning Jerry helped me with the liner and prosthesis, and I took some more steps. Even a couple not holding onto him.

Tomorrow we are going shopping for a hand railing for the hallway so I can do more than take just one step.

Jerry left to do some flight instruction and I decided to leave the leg on. In truth it does not feel like it is a part of me. I am not sure it will until I have osseointegration surgery and can "feel" the leg. But I want to get used to it. And I won't do anything foolish while I am home alone.

But I can lie here on the bed, look at the prosthesis and say to myself, you got this.

I am so proud.

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