Leggy Mountbatten

Years ago, a film was made that was a parody of the Beatles. The group was the Rutles, and they had a manager who had a prosthetic leg. His name was Leggy Mountbatten. And that is what I named my prosthesis.

When I'm wearing it, it's my leg. It's part of me. But when I take it off, I usually have a little chat with Leggy, and we discuss our day-- how many steps I accomplished and how it got me through. And maybe a word of thanks. I plug in Leggy and lie him next to the bed to get him ready for tomorrow.

Today, Jerry and I went to a craft show, and I walked thousands of steps. I was using my walker, which kind of acts as a shield to keep me safe. The show was fairly crowded, but if people saw me they cleared a path. When they didn't I patiently waited for room to walk. People, including me, were there to look at beautiful things. They weren't in a hurry and neither was I.

I know I tend to get frustrated when I'm in Costco and someone is standing in the middle of the aisle, checking phone messages. At that moment I am aware of being disabled, and I get angry and sad.

But walking through the show today, it really struck me that it's not all about me. I have spent the last year, or perhaps longer, being incredibly self-centered. Part of that was fear. When I was still learning to be proficient on the walker it was harder for me to maneuver around people. I was afraid of falling. My fear manifested itself as frustration and anger.

Right now I am very proficient on the walker, and I am learning to walk with a cane. When I start walking with the cane outside my house and physical therapy, no doubt I will be afraid. It's scary. But I hope I can take other people's actions into account.

I am sure no one is trying to block my way. But it didn't always feel like that. And I realize now it's because I have been incredibly self-centered, and at times it has been necessary, but I think I am moving past that.

I am stronger and more confident. But I cannot get inside everyone's brain to know how their life is going, so it's time to cut everyone else some slack. I will not always remember to do this, but today, walking in a crowd reminded me of how far I've come, and it's time to to branch out beyond me.

Perhaps tonight Leggy and I can have a chat about it before we go to bed.

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