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Abs, Shoulders, Legs, Brain

Pilates is good for all of these things. It is no joke that when I got hit by that bus the EMTs told me if I had not been so strong they would have let me go. I thanked my Pilates instructor. It is also amazingly good for my brain. I started out the day full of snark, and after my session I let so much go. After the session, as I drove to physical therapy, I thought about why I do some of the things I do. I push. I challenge. I dare people to get angry with me, and when they do I can say aha! I knew it. Why would anyone like me. I know I have said this before, but since my accident, my world has gotten so much smaller. There are friends who I don't hear from for months, and others have dropped me. And these are people I did not push away. I have sung this song before, I know, but it came back today when I was thinking about my life and how I really want to make it better. Pilates is certainly one way. As my body gets stronger my brain gets clearer. Endorphins, perhaps. Also c...
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Not if, but When

That is what my physical therapist said to me after my first fall. And yesterday I fell. Again. Jerry and I were in a grocery store and my foot got stuck on a rubber mat being used by a woman handing out samples of macarons. My prosthetic knee did bend so it definitely slowed down my fall, but I managed to pull many muscles in my residual thigh. As I lay on the floor, waiting to catch my breath and regain my composure, a flurry of staff people appeared, one of whom I was pretty sure was the manager. After I assured him I didn't want to fill out any forms or file a complaint, he and Jerry hoisted me up. I had tried the method my PT had shown me to get up from the floor, but I really was in too much pain to do it myself. I'm still in pain today, but I can walk, so I'm confident I didn't break anything this time. I see my physical therapist today, so she can help me figure out what is best to do. Walking? Not walking? Icing? Heating? She will have the answers. So whi...
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And We Danced

Last evening was the annual Barcs Wedding. It truly is a grand affair. Every year two Barcs alumni dogs get "married." It is held at the Lord Baltimore Hotel. Cocktails, wine, a not fancy but delicious dinner catered by Blue Pit, and dancing. Last year I went to the wedding using a walker, and I was sure I would be walkong unaided this year. But a broken hip changed all that. I use a cane at home and seriously considered going to the event using just the cane, but my better sense prevailed and I went using the walker. I recently got a pair of dressy trousers and I wore them, paired with a glittery top I got at a second-hand store in Reykjavik. The great thing about baggy pants is that my prosthesis, as well as my misshapen thigh, are hidden. I still hate the walker but I was glad to have it. I am doing well, and I would hate to fall for the sake of vanity. It was so fun to see Barcs staff and volunteers out of their usual jeans and t-shirts, all dolled up for the even...
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London Calling

and I'm not answering. As you may well imagine, I will never be going to London again. But the odd thing is, most of the television programs I watch are British procedurals. After dinner, Jerry and I head to the TV room, armed with La Croix fizzy water and Skinnypop, to watch an episode of whatever we are streaming at the time. And that is generally a police or MI5 procedural based in London. It might seem odd since it is somewhere I now have an allergy too, but mostly, it's fine. Except the other night. We were watching Slow Horses, and there was an extended shot of a London double-decker bus. Mind you, I have no recollection of being hit by one, but somewhere-- imgination, subconscious or deep in my memory before the trauma team sedated me, I see that bus. and me. on the ground. And I get unbelievably upset, and I experience a resurgence of deep-buried PTSD. Some of it may be related to my current physical self. While I am mostly out of the wheelchair, my physical thera...
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All Charged and Ready to Go

I had an appointment at Hopkins today and all went better than expected. i got x-rayed and had my sutures removed. Everything was so well healed I didn't even need a bandage. I asked the PA when I could start wearing my prosthesis and she replied, as soon as I got home. So I have now had it on several hours, but I have to admit I have not walked much. The PA told me it would likely hurt to wear it, and she was right. In addition, I am using my walker because my balance is just not there. I know every step will make me stronger and better, but I also know that overdoing it will not speed up the process. When Jerry and I bicycled we always said: slow and steady wins the race, except in a race. So I am thankful I am not in a race. I have no deadlines. I also admit I'm a little afraid. I don't want to hurt myself. I don't want to fall. So I will take my time. Also, I am taking Calcium and Vitamin D in the hopes that if I do fall, I won't break anything. So now I ...
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Jiggedy Jig

We are home from spending five days in Cleveland, a trip I had very mixed feelings about taking. While I really wanted to see my cousins, I hate going just about anywhere using the wheelchair. Nothing says disabled, at least to me, than a wheelchair. That, and one pant leg tied in a knot where my knee should be. Countless times a day I shake my head in disbelief. I say WTF more times than should be legal. I hate it. I am obviously not alone in these thoughts because as I have said before, I have been dumped by countless people. I speculate why, but I can't say for sure. You'd have to ask them, because they sure aren't telling me. Which brings me to my Cleveland family. No matter what might be going on with me, they would figure out a way to see me, hang out with me, go out to dinner with me, have great talks with me. I love these people. Jerry and I did decide to stay in a hotel, which certainly made things easier for everyone. We requested an accessible room and actual...
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Oxycodone and Cats

One is making me nauseated; the other is giving me cuddle time. Up at 4:30 am on Friday for 5:30 am surgery time. While I am hardly a morning person I was relieved to have the surgery scheduled early. Let's get this over with. I'm not sure what I had envisioned, but the surgery was certainly complex. Lots of screws, but no plate. I sent a photo of the xray to my surgeon in New York and he thought it looked excellent, which brought me great relief. Of all of my physicians, he is the one I trust the most. Maybe it's his attentiveness, which I realize does not necessarily make a good surgeon, but he did a great job on my OI, and he's at the top-rated ortho hospital in the US, and he treats me with respect and compassion. After a promised morning release time, the hospital let me go at 7 pm. I came home, had a couple bites of Jerry's cheese sandwich, took an oxycodone and closed my eyes. Shortly thereafter Michelle climbed on my chest and started purring. The gentle ...
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